Choice and Reality Therapy

Choice theory states that:

• All we do is behave
• Almost all behavior is chosen
• We are driven by our genes to satisfy five basic needs:
  • Survival
  • Love and belonging
  • Power
  • Freedom
  • Fun

The most important need is love and belonging because this allows us to meet the rest of our needs.

Relationships and Our Habits

Seven Caring Habits

1. Supporting
2. Encouraging
3. Listening
4. Accepting
5. Trusting
6. Respecting
7. Negotiating differences

Seven Deadly Habits

1. Criticizing
2. Blaming
3. Complaining
4. Nagging
5. Threatening
6. Punishing
7. Bribing, rewarding to control 

The Ten Axioms of Choice Theory

1. The only person whose behavior we can control is our own.
2. All we can give another person is information.
3. All long-lasting psychological problems are relationship problems.
4. The problem relationship is always part of our present life.
5. What happened in the past has everything to do with what we are today, but we can only satisfy our basic needs right now and plan to continue satisfying them in the future.
6. We can only satisfy our needs by satisfying the pictures in our Quality World.
7. All we do is behave.
8. All behavior is Total Behavior and is made up of four components: acting, thinking, feeling, and physiology.
9. All Total Behavior is chosen, but we only have direct control over the acting and thinking components. We can only control our feelings and physiology indirectly through how we choose to act and think.
10. All Total Behavior is designated by verbs and named by the part that is the most recognizable.

Reality Therapy

• Focus on the present
• Act and think
• Avoid criticizing, blaming and/or complaining
• Remain non-judgmental and non-coercive
• Is what I’m doing getting me closer to the people I need?
• Excuses are in the way
• Focus on specifics
• Specific workable plans
• Patient and supportive